Who would have thought that a phone call could change our lives forever?
Wednesday, June 10th, I got a phone call from a social worker (Sharon) from LDS Family Services telling me that she had a 17 year-old Polynesian birth mom who had been looking at profiles for about 2 weeks and kept coming back to ours. (I have to add in here that our profile on the new website had only been posted for maybe a week before she started looking. I had barely realized ours wasn’t on the new site and felt pressured to get it published as quickly as I could. Craziness eh?) Anyway, Sharon asked if we could come to her office and meet with Kiki and her mom, Michele (Me-sha-lay) that Friday, June 12th… and lo and behold, that was also Kiki’s due date! Of course we made the trip!
We were SO nervous! Every time the bell on the door would ring our stomachs would start flipping! When Kiki and Michele walked in the room we couldn’t help but smile. I know they had to be as scared as we were but they were so warm and kind that it set everyone at ease. After asking and answering some questions Kiki looked us square in the eyes and asked if we would raise her daughter.
I cannot describe the range of emotions we have felt in the last week and a half. In that moment, our lives changed. Looking her in the eyes and knowing that we have just been entrusted with the responsibility of raising her child in the gospel…
I’m not going to even attempt to describe the poor girl’s labor and delivery. We felt so awful, so helpless. We had no idea what to do to help or just be useful! So you have an idea of how exhausted Kiki was when she finally gave birth, let me just say that Wednesday, June 17th, she was induced at 6:00am, labored without pain meds ALL DAY, started the pitocin around 10:00 that night. At 5:00 the NEXT morning, they broke her water, around 6:00am she asked for pain meds through the IV, at 9:00am she had an epidural and slept until 1:00ish when she felt she needed to push but was still only 9 cm dilated. FINALLY at 7:45pm they let her start pushing and an hour later at 8:45 Namakaokeahi (Naw-maw-kaw-oh-kay-aw-he) (which means "Eyes of Fire") was born weighing 8lbs, 15oz, 22in long. 39 hours from induction to baby! HOLY CRAP!!! I felt SOOO bad for Kiki! I have never been a fan of pain, but I would have done anything to labor for her so she could have slept.
Kiki and the Keahi (Kay-aw-he) had fevers when she was born, so they put the baby on an antibiotic for 48 hours. It was hard to find the perfect balance between being at the hospital and not. We wanted to be there for as much as possible, but also wanted her family to have time alone with Kiki and Keahi without us. Plus, Madi was going stir crazy without us and needed some one-on-one time. Saturday Clint and I went to the Temple and did sealings. It was the first time we had participated in sealings since our own marriage 5 years ago (on the 24th, Happy Anniversary to us!) and it was the most peaceful experience. You could feel the love and happiness so strongly around you that all other doubts and fears washed themselves away. I was able to stand-in for a daughter and it really turned my focus to the day when our family can re-enter the Temple and have this beautiful daughter of God sealed to our family through the power of the Priesthood. What a wonderful thing to look forward to!
Saturday night (June 20th) was the most difficult and heart-breaking experience we’ve ever been a part of. As the hours slowly passed and the time for us to leave with Keahi drew closer, Michele filled the awkward silences with stories and jokes. I’ve never felt so torn in my life. We have been hoping and praying for a child to adopt for years, and now that the moment was inching closer, neither of us could be excited. We had only known Kiki and her family for a week and yet our hearts were breaking at the thought of their sacrifice. When the time came, the family asked us to join them in a prayer, which brought tears, the Spirit, and a confirmation that this was right. After Kiki said her sweet goodbyes to Keahi, we all hugged and cried and said ours. I’ve never felt so peaceful and yet so sad.
We spent Sunday with my family and came home yesterday morning. The house was all decorated and it was a true relief to be home. Madison loves her new baby sister and cannot get enough of her! We took them to the doctor today (to make sure Madison doesn't have anything that could get Keahi sick and to check on Keahi's Jaundice) and everything looks great! The doctor said both are healthy and nothing to worry about. Also, Keahi was weighed and has gained 9 ounces! She is beautiful and we are absolutely in love with our sweet, precious miracle. We are going to have an open adoption, which we are way excited about because we love Kiki's family and are excited to get to know them. This has been so different from how we expected adoption to be, but are grateful for the experience and for a wise Heavenly Father who knows the end from the beginning. We'd like to say thank you again to Kiki, Michele and their family. What a blessing you are in our lives.
