The Day I Knew Would Come Too Soon

Not sure how to approach this new phase in my life.

Joy?  Weeping, and I mean like ugly, uncontrollable sobbing?  Sleep?  A happy dance?

All of my kids are in school.  Even my sweet baby boy has left me and joined his buddies (and his "girlfriend" lol!!!) in Kindergarten.  No fear, no clinging to Mom or sadness in his bright, hazel eyes - just pure excitement and go go go!  Marcus took that first step and hasn't looked back. 

Maelee grew up overnight and is suddenly in 3rd grade which where we live means switching classes between 4 teachers.  AND she graduated into the second highest class in gymnastics - whaaaaaaaat??  When did 8 become so OLD?  Speaking of 8 that also means she was baptized this summer by her daddy.  I cried ugly tears that weekend... 

And Madi?  Madi is 11 and a full blown tweeny-bopper.  She entered 6th grade with spirals in her hair, new glasses on her face and a skip in her step.  She came home talking about boys and new friends, new teachers and familiar faces. 

 All three.  Gone.  All day.  And I'm alone...

I'm sad because I love my kids!  No matter what else you've heard, I really do!!!  :)  We had so much fun playing card and board games this summer, and I don't feel like we got to do enough together.  I crave snuggling up with my munchkins and a movie...

I'm happy because I'm SO DONE listening to them argue and bicker and nag and tattle and whine and disagree and yell and on and on and on!  We're a team!  Let's support each other, you obnoxious knuckle heads!!  Get over it, stop name calling ya bozos and just BE NICE!!!

I'm thinking that I'm leaning more toward a "woohoo!!!" kind of emotion, mainly because I'm the kind of person who's on the go ALL THE TIME and it'll honestly be nice to not have to "worry" about my kids - Who's watching them?  What are they doing while I'm editing pictures or painting or crafting or cleaning?  Are they doing something that's rotting their brains or actually benefiting them?  How many freaking fruit snacks have they HAD today??  Do I let them watch just ONE more episode while I try to finish what I'm doing or do I slip out of "Tiffany" mode and back into "Mommy" mode now like my guilt is screaming at me to do?

That kind of worry, ya know?

I think the craziest part about being here is that this is the year I've talked about for ages!  "When my kids are all in school I'll FINALLY catch up on my blogging and scrapbooking and journaling!  I'll write that book or two that are floating around in my head!  I'll flesh out my photography business and start pushing myself to succeed there!  I'll stay on top of the housework and keep our home running smoothly by meal planning, couponing, budgeting better and finishing what I start!  I'll manage my time better!!"  Well lady, here it is.  That year you've been going on about.

So now what?  What first?  Where do I even start??  My best, most honest answer?  WHO KNOWS!!?!  I couldn't tell ya!  But I'm pretty excited to figure it all out!!